I was reminded yesterday of hard conversations. Hard conversations are usually the most important. They are filled with meaning and love. They take us to the heart of who we are and what we really believe and want from those around us. We often don’t want to have hard conversations and many people avoid them. Fear can keep us from broaching things that need to and should be said. When we have those conversations, we talk from our spirit and become our most authentic and empowered.
I once read a book called the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. It mentioned a very important belief of living life like each day is your last so that you may live with no regrets. This is mainly because how we live affects our afterlife. If we recognize that belief as true, that means it is important to go within and self-analyze. Self-analysis is a form of checks and balances which allow us to live knowing we have been loving, forgiving and that we have done our best. In our society, we often live busy lives and taking time to self-analyze can be hard to do. We also have learned to try to seek “things” that will make us feel good rather than to look inside of ourselves to find peace within. To protect our egos we often: avoid hard conversations, hold on to resentments, use our defensiveness as a shield, live materialistically and more. It is sometimes not until we have been confronted with mortality that we begin our inner journey. It is when those important questions arise that we more deeply look at ourselves and our purpose here. Questions like, “If I die tomorrow, how will others remember me?” or “If I die tomorrow, will I go to Heaven?” or “Did they know how much I loved them?”
The word “ego” really represents how we “ease God out.” We begin thinking we are in control and living accordingly. It can feel harder to self-analyze and to live from your spiritual center but it brings with it a more peaceful life. It helps us to focus on what is really important. It helps us to spend our time here wisely and from a place of love. If we truly allow God “in”, we are allowing Good Orderly Direction to guide our lives.
Each of us is special and has a purpose here to fulfill. Some of us do not even realize we are already living that purpose. Each time we are there for someone else or share our faith, we impact others in a positive way. With the crime and struggles we see in our society today, it is important to use our spiritual strength to create positive change. Society breaking down is a sign of ego based living and result of pushing God out. Our individual actions either contribute to that breakdown or fight against it. We are all connected and we are each capable of creating positive change through things we do or say. We each have a purpose and a responsibility in that whether big or small.
In meditation, I had a hard conversation. I asked Jesus for some guidance. My ego was hurt and I wanted to hear from Him some platitude or other. As loving a spirit as he is, I heard hard words. He in no way wanted to stroke my ego. He lovingly put me in my place. He allowed me to release my selfish thinking much the same way we parent our children. He told me that I needed to let go of what my ego wanted because he had expectations of me. That I have a job to do and to basically move on from trivial things. My idea that I could indulge in a little self-pity went out the window and I moved on. Along with that, I released my part in the problem and got focused on what I’m supposed to do. Though I didn’t hear what I wanted to hear, I am grateful to be able to leave behind any negative thinking I was holding onto.
In doing readings, I am blessed. I have lots of hard conversations with people. I see people in their most vulnerable and real state. I’m given the opportunity to meet them there and I pray that the words that come out of my mouth are the most loving and authentic I am capable of being. We each have the opportunity to be that for others if we remain open to listening and experiencing a deep connection with each person we meet. When we do, it helps us far more than we are likely to help the other person. We receive healing as we allow our own needs to take a back seat and we become reminded of what is important. Life, Love, compassion and connection are just a few of the things we are privileged to experience and they are far more valuable in character building than any “thing” we could strive to attain.
Be open to hard conversations. God may expect you to either be the recipient, the listener or the person speaking. Look at them as an opportunity to grow and to make a positive impact. Recognize opportunities that allow you to: make an amends, to help someone with direction or to share feelings. Whatever the conversation is, be loving and be real. When you struggle with what to say, ask God to speak through you. Face each situation lovingly and from a perspective that leaves you free of regret. Look at those moments as the gift they are. We each get the opportunity to touch the lives of others and in so doing; we become changed as well. © November 22, 2013, Nancy Hickman, M.Ed., LLC